Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Active Resistance

SILENTIUM (Radix Agens Resistentiam)

Stillness, silence, peacefulness and quiet
            deep in our spirit

That is the true path to achieve sustainable, effective resistance
The path to everlasting peace

It is not to fight or retaliate

It is deep in that quiet space of surrender
To a Spirit that is greater
where evil flees
           
And good
not only takes root
but fully blooms

It may look strange
appear irrational
to be still
            to be silent

But it produces beauty unheard of
here

In heaven above

Monday, February 25, 2013

Love your enemies. Pray for them. Seriously.

Our sermon at church this past Sunday was good, real good.

I really encourage everyone to listen to it. Especially if you're trying to figure out what I mean by a lot of the terms I use and where I'm getting it from.

Basically, we're talking about Anabaptism in a refreshing way and I feel right at home and want to jump up and down and scream FINALLY, YES this is the Church I always dreamed of, but never heard about. I realize that I'm not the only one in history who has rejected the major political 'accomplishments' (UGH) of the 'Church' at large (which include but are not limited to conquering, killing and exploiting in the name of Jesus..not my Jesus, thank you very much).

You can find links to the sermons and more information here. The specific sermon I'm writing about now is the second sermon in the Kindred series. I'll post a direct link once it's up.

During this sermon, Greg (our speaking pastor) mentioned a really nasty cycle of destruction he got into with some other respectable Christ followers, and how through this encounter he felt God telling him to love those who were, really nastily, attacking him.

Love your enemies. Pray for them. Seriously.

As he was telling his story, and how it's transformed him to be praying for his 'enemy', something clicked for me.

You see, simultaneously Gregs sermon this day was also about how Jesus came to free us from the bondage of the Law (the Old Testament). He was talking about how the Old Testament says that you pay an eye for an eye when someone wrongs you, but that Christ tells us to turn the other cheek.

Then I started thinking.

Its widely said and accepted in Christianity that God loves everyone equally, and that nothing you DO can cause him to love you more or less. It's also widely accepted that Gods grace is open and available to everyone, all that accept it, if they only DO accept it, and that we know this both because of and through Jesus Christ.

If you accept this, it means you choose to love God and follow Him, and in doing so you will slowly be molded to look like him by bearing the fruit of His work  (Jesus is a part of God).

So if Jesus came to free us from the law of "an eye for an eye", but we are only free if we accept this, and the only way we can know we have accepted this is if we look like Jesus...we gotta try to look like Jesus.

And what about those who don't accept it?

Well, they aren't free from the law. Not because God doesn't want them to be, but because they haven't chosen to be.

So then I got this image.

What if you're a christian and your enemy is not. Now imagine your enemy is brutally torturing you and killing you and your family and the ones you love right in front of you. Jesus says you are called to pray for them, to turn the other cheek.

But this won't be for our own salvation. We're already saved.

Maybe it's for their salvation.

Maybe, since they are still 'under the law' because they haven't accepted the atonement of the law (Christ), and haven't chosen to be free of the one who upholds the law (Satan), they have the consequence of the full-weight of the law coming for them. An eye for an eye, or a daughter for a daughter a torture for  torture.

But the law can only be pressed against them if the persecuter wants to press charges.

You, the one being tortured, are the persecutor.

What if instead of saying "YEAH, Kill em, make them suffer just as I suffered! WORSE!

Your prayers set them free?

That's evangelism. That's saving someone. 

 I mean, really.





Now, flash to Calvary. 

What did Jesus do?

Shooot.



He prayed that those who were persecuting him would be forgiven, not that he would be avenged.



So. . .


Yes, he set us free.

"Those whom the Son sets free are truly Free!"

And we, as Christians, have the ability to set the rest of the world free.

If only we would believe.


Love your enemies. Pray for them. Seriously.



Thursday, December 27, 2012

Forget what you've heard about Christ.

Who is Christ?

He is more than "death" and "sin" and "be saved" and "rose again". 
Christ is more than flesh and body. He is more than you've heard.
Christ does not live in a church, his body and eyes and arms, are yours and mine.
Christ does not live in the words, but is the meaning and power of language.
Christ cannot be simply defined, but is meant to be infinitely experienced.
Forget what you've think you've learned, forget what you've heard about Christ.

Have you ever sat and wondered at the beauty of a sunset?
Taken pause at the happenstance of a series of events?
Have you ever been lost in the beauty of a simple leaf or tree?
Been in awe of mystery and mastery? Of the greatness of the universe?
The creativity of creation?

Have you ever looked to the stars and felt small?
Or seen a spiders web, beautifully made and sprinkled with dew, and wondered how magical?
Have you ever felt connected to the fabric of being?
Or part of something greater than yourself?
Have you ever felt the power of the energy that holds the whole world, the whole universe, together?
The fragility of life?
Felt the balance that it all hangs on?

Have you an awareness of the power that brought existence into being?
That spoke a word forth, and created?

Christ is that.
The word spoken, that created.
The power out of which became existence.
The balance
The fragility, the life.
The energy that holds it together
The 'something' greater. That to which you, and I, belong.
The fabric of being to which we are all connected to, and from which we all came.
The wonder and magic of dew and webs and spiders.
The greatness within, the smallness through out.
The creativity
The mystery and the mastery
The beauty and complexity
The happenstance
The wonder
The beauty
The sunset.

Christ is the power, the energy, the force behind everything, that holds it all and created it all and is alive within it.

That power which, being so great, was made small into the body of a man.

Who came to love, and show the world what it really means to live.

Who died a bodily death, but rose above and still lives.

For if Christ truly died, all would cease to exist.

And because He lives, we can also live.

Forget what you've heard about Christ, and let Him show you the true meaning of His name, the word, the love, the light, the living, the life, Christ.




Biblical evidence: 
New International Version (NIV)

John 1

The Word Became Flesh

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.
....
The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.



So if Christ was the Word, what did the Word do?
 

Genesis 1

The Beginning

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.
And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good.
11 Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.
14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. 16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.
20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” 21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” 23 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.
24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.
31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.



Saturday, June 9, 2012

What the Bible says..LGBT


My my my how I struggle against people who claim to be christians, but whore the name in the act of hate against brothers and sisters who are different from them - specifically against the LGBT-(TQQSIUU) population.  The ones that claim that it is a sin to be gay, and that if you are you are surely going to hell. They say "The Law condemns it" - then they tell you "it's all in the Bible! Turn from your evil ways and be SAVED!"

UGH. This boils m blood.
Lord have MERCY.  

Brothers and sisters, I want to begin by stating that we, as Christians, are not called to live by the Law, but are called to live by the Spirit, given to us by the grace of God. (1 Corinthians, Romans, Hebrews). There is nothing you can do to deserve this grace, or to lose this grace, you can only accept it. Whether black, white, gay, transexual, inter-sex, married, unmarried, man or woman, or anything else for that matter. If you were created by God (which you are), then you're welcome to this grace. You cant earn it and you can't do anything to deserve it. There is simply nothing you can do. Nothing. Except accept it.  

If you are so freely welcome to it, indeed your brother and sister next to you - no matter how uncomfortable it makes you - is also freely welcome to it. 

So stop judging them, stop telling them they need to be saved. Stop telling them they are lost or some how inferior to you and denied your grace. Remember, you did not earn it, and neither can they.

No. Our God freely gives this grace, this spirit, this unconditional un-dying love - to anyone, anyone who chooses to accept it. 

Whether you like it or not.  

In this light, the law is irrelevant. Jesus made the law- which leads to death- irrelevant. To follow the law is to lead yourself to death. Be free. Leave the Law behind. The law that condemns you will condemn you to hell. You will never escape it or please it. (read 1 Corinthians (especially the last few chapters) or 1 Colossians (Ch. 12 and 13) or Romans (romans 8 is particularly good) or Hebrews (chapters 8-12 or so)or just about any part of the New Testament really, if you don't believe me). It's there. 

That, brothers and sisters, is what the Bible says.

There is good news- there is Gospel!

 You can be free of the law. Christ has come and He has risen! He has put the law to death and given us the spirit to live by - living through and by the spirit leads to life. And this spirit sees everyone as loved by God. As a perfectly imperfect impression of God and His love, and this spirit loves unconditionally - just as God does. It knows not how to hate or judge or condemn, but only to love.

That, brothers and sisters, is what the Bible says. 


The true mark of this Spirit within you is unconditional love for all. No matter what. No matter if this person is loving another, or torturing you. You are called to love them, to welcome them with open arms, to validate them as Gods child. 

So my challenge and question to Christians is this - 

Christ says from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

What comes out of your mouth?


Check yo self.

Friday, June 1, 2012

In my own skin- Inspired by (quirky) women

Recently, I have re-kindled an old friendship from way back when, and my friend and I have been talking about a lot og great things. I've decided these things are great enough to share here too. 


One topic we were talking about was our tendency to want to be liked by everyone. Can you relate? I struggle pretty much every day with trying to 'say the right thing' and trying to be liked by everyone around me. It gets under my skin so much when someone 'doesn't like me' or 'disapproves'. But lately, I have found some peace with this, and so I thought I'd share why and how I've started to worry less if I'm liked or approved.


Always seeking approval and wanting to be pleasant to, and liked by, everyone you meet and are surrounded by is something I think humans were made to feel. We are social beings, and we want to be of service and bring joy to others around us. Not only that, but we want a community where we fit and belong, a family we can build for ourselves where we can be ourselves.

As I've grown over the past few short years. I have been blessed by being surrounded with a lot of women in my life. Not just women my age, women of all ages and stages, and this has profoundly impacted me. From these (mostly older) women that I've met and had the privilege of spending my time with, I have gotten to witness something beautiful that comes with aging- finding yourself. From these women, I have learned that we are not all perfect, that at times we will rub people the wrong way, or not agree, or think each other 'weird' or eccentric- but that these are not things to hide by conforming. Instead, these are things to be celebrated.



OK, yes, I've heard this all before but it's finally sinking in.

There is something really beautiful about someone who can gracefully be themselves, something inspiring and moving. You know that your experience with that person is going to be authentic, even if it is weird or uncomfortable at times. As I have learned to love the imperfections in these women, and then learned to see the woman who is being 'imperfect' as greater than her awkward or quirky comments, I have begun to see how everyone brings something unique and beautiful wherever they go. To not be fully 'you', deprives the moment of what only you have to offer it.


Some people are funny. Some people are smart. Some people are up-front. Some people are hippies, some people are sporty..etc.etc. I have started not only to learn to embrace the quicks in others, but to love them for their quirks. From this I have learned to embrace more the defining sides of myself, the serious side,the spiritual side, the nerdy side, the hippy sider, the oblivious side, the 5-years old side, the grandma side... the list goes on. Before, these were things I would try to suppress, while trying to highlight others, or 'tone down a little". 


But now,  I have embraced them more instead of judging them as things I need to fix. I haven't stopped comparing myself to others all together, but through seeing how great it is to have such eclectic and different people around me that get along so well and each bring something different to the table, I have begun to see that I too can bring something wholly unique. I have come to accept that I'm not always interested in things that other people are interested in, that I'm not always as clever or outgoing or personable as other people, but that isn't wrong or bad. Other people aren't as quiet or gentile in conversation as me, aren't as nerdy or whatever I am, as me. And as I accept that, I realize that it's OK to be different. And if it's OK to be different, then it's OK to be myself and not try to conform to what I think other people want.

People don't always want to see reflections of themselves in the people they hang out with. People want to see something new, learn new perspectives, share different experiences and stories. People will be drawn to you no matter what. The question is, are they drawn to your authentic self (with all of it's imperfections) or are they drawn to something you're trying to hold up? It's so much more work to hold something up than to just say OK, well here I am and maybe I'm not always x-y-z but at least you know who I am, and I am authentic. 


This doesn't mean you cant still strive to be things you aren't today, it just means that you can let go of working to be someone you're not. It has helped me stop worrying about if someone likes me, if what I said was taken the right way, if I reacted the 'right' way to a situation.... it's relieved a lot of the anxiety. And I feel like I've made a lot less mistakes because of it.


Thank you to all of you quirky women out there for showing me how beautiful you are.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Food and family - an example of daily christian failure

Well, I have officially realized, once again, the depth of my ignorance.

Something I have felt pretty passionate about (and still do), is eating good food, that comes from good stores and hopefully, grown locally. I like fresh, and not processed, and try to support small business when I can. When Tyler and I lived in the city, we tried to make as much of our own food as possible, buy from local growers, and support our local economy. Why? Well, read any of Michael Pollans books, or just do the research yourself. More than just being healthy, we felt like this was one way we could exercise our christian values. We have friends who we wish so much to be like- they try to minimize waste by buying as much as they can in bulk, eat good delicious organic food, hardly buy meat... the life man.

 But, now that we live in Chisago with Tylers parents, we no longer buy our groceries (which is awesome). But Tyler's parents, who don't exactly like the work of making everything from scratch, don't have the same buying habits as us. We have been complaining non-stop for a few months now. What's there to complain about? We don't buy our own food...thats a pretty neat gig. Yes, thats what the obvious response to this situation is. But Tyler and I have surely found ways to complain.. "the food isn't 'healthy', it's frozen, it's packaged in more plastic than there is food, it's processed, it's not organic, it's bought at (insert store name here) and they don't have moral practices, it's not locally grown.."blah blah blah.

While these may be good things to be mindful about... they are missing a big point.

Tyler and I eat like kings. Kings!! We have more food than we know what to do with, at our fingertips, anytime we open our pantry or fridge. In the famous words of Britta from Community, "There are kids starving in Uganda for goodness sakes". Who am I to complain that the food I don't buy for myself, isn't good enough? Can I afford to buy better food? Not right now. When I can, will I? Yes. Until then, should I complain about the abundance of food I do have? Umm..no.

Sadly, it has taken me 9 months to realize this. I wonder what else I am being an idiot about. Sometimes I get my values mixed up. Being grateful for what I am given, and loving my family, should come before the 'quality' of my food (which I don't buy...) Duh.

Yep, still working on getting there Jesus.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

I am the Problem

Reading Blue Like Jazz, and loving it. On page 20 Donald Miller reminds me of something so obvious, I almost forget it every day. It brings me so much healing to remember. The world is a messed up place, but it's because it's filled wih messed up humans - like me. I cannot change the world, unless I first change myself. Like Gandhi once said "Be the change you wish to see". So simple. But I am really, the only thing I can change.

"I started wondering whether we could actually change the world. I mean, of course we could-we could change our buying habbits, elect socially conscious representatives and that sort of thing, but I honestly don't believe we will be solving the greater human conflict with our efforts. The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that it has always been.
I am the problem.
I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in this world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts fo face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principle within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there; the problem is the need beast of a thing that lives in my chest." (Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz, Pg. 20)

Yes, indeed. It is within ourselves we must first look to change the world. This is why I think Christ taught so much on having the right heart. All of the 'rules and regulations' of organized religion, I think, are intended to help grow the right heart, but they get in the way a lot too.

It's also what's at the core of the meaning of having a 'fallen state', of the 'fall of man', of 'original sin'. You see, we are each responsible for the horrible things in this world. We are all called to deny the way within us that tells us to be selfish and hoarding, and instead to choose to be selfless and loving. But it takes work, because there is a beast within us, the "ego'' or 'original sin' or 'devil', that tempts us. We must learn to be good, teach each other and love each other. That is how God intended it to be. We have to work to make it so. Live like Christ. I really believe if everyone lived with Christs heart, lived the way he taught us to live, the world would be blissful. It would be perfect. It would be how God intended it to be. So I am a christian. I want to live like Christ, try to live with his heart.

I am the problem. Christ, in me, is the solution.

Organized religion and the devil

I know so many people turned away from christ because of religion it makes my heart sink. I know so many christians far from christ because of religion it makes my heart sick. I once wrote in my journal

"I wonder if organized religion is the devils way of tricking us into distracting us from God. As if to keep our minds busy about the rules and regulations, things to divide us, so we aren't just living like Christ and loving others and God, things to unite us."



I am reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. In it he writes"
"I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather to have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God." (Miller, Donald. Blue Like Jazz,  Nashville Tennesse, Thomas Nelson Inc., 2003. Pg 13)

Interesting. Apparently, I am not alone.

"Forget the church, follow Jesus"

I've been reading a lot lately. Lots of Christian books. My latest reads include
Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra and That Hideous Strength by C.S. Lewis
The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Sterns
The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an ordinary radical by Shane Claiborne.

I have been really encouraged by these books. They are great books that I think get at the heart of a lot of what I think it really means to be a christian and live like Jesus. They are convicting as anything and make me want to sell my possessions and live on the streets. Seriously, I had thoughts of raising money to buy a house to start a ministry in the poorest neighborhoods of St. Paul or Minneapolis. I almost emailed my pastor to ask for the money, it was radical. I still really want to do this, but I will wait until the time is right. But these stories, these books, have reminded me how hard it is to truly be christian. How scared I am to really follow Jesus. But I think something is changing. I even read a recent artilce in Newsweek, the cover story actually, titled "Forget the Church, Follow Jesus", by Andrew Sullivan You can read it by clicking here. Yes, indeed people are waking up. I am not alone in claiming back Christianity in the name of Jesus, not the 'church'.

But what about the church? Can I say something obvious? The church is not a building. It is the individuals who follow Jesus. I love this quote,

"Christ has no hands on earth but yours,
no heart but yours, no feet but yours. 
Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out,
the feet for which he is to go about doing good"

So don't be too quick to forget about the Church, your body is the Church. You can decide not to go to church (little c, the building church), but the real Church (capitol C), is you, it's me. It's our bodies, our hands, our feet, our eyes, by which Christ continues to live, if we choose to let him live through us. 



Tuesday, April 3, 2012

He or She? Why is God 'Male'?

Update, 5/6/2012:

Recently I have done more reading and more praying on this issue, and I have come to a new understanding; God is both male and female. Because God created all things in His image, including gender, God is both male and female, as both genders are images of God.  Furthermore, because male is no greater than female, and female is no greater than male, God is equally male and female. I believe in  English, the Christian God is referred to as male because the Old Testament Jews viewed Him as their King, and so addressed Him as 'Male'. The below theories are still entertaining. Interesting how so much thought can go into something, and yet you can still change your mind. I will continue to call God He, because He is my Father. I have not completely reconciled this. Guidance and ideas are much welcome.

Published 4/3/2012::

Recently, I began thinking more seriously about why god is 'He' rather than 'She', and if it really matters. Indeed, in my very first post I originally wrote He/She everywhere I called God He. My husband quickly sat me down to talk to me, to tell me that God indeed refers to himself as He, therefore he is not a she but a he. OK, I was intimidated and believed that God is "He", but I was not entirely convinced on his logic. Faith I told myself, have faith. SO I quickly changed all my posts to 'He' and erased any evidence of the S/He's, so as not to be embarrassed in front of all of my loyal die-hard christian  readers (there are so many..) and of course, my husband. Then I prayed for understanding.

Now I am convinced, God is 'He'. The following are some of my realizations.  Warning, it gets philosophical. My reasoning may not be sound, but it has convinced me.


In a nutshell, I believe God is 'He' because

1. The bible says so, he is Father.
2. Gender is different than sex, I do not believe God has a sex, but I do believe his gender traits are male, not female, thus he is He. (I will address the creation aspect, the "mother nature'' nature of God as I talk about this).
3. Out of male, came female. The rib of Adam can be metaphorically seen as the X Chromosome (this kind of has to do with point 2, and is by far the most philosophical part of my discussion as well as the biggest stretch).

1. The bible says so, he is Father.

So first, God is male because the Bible says so. He describes himself as male and tells us to call him Abba, Father. Fathers are male, so God is male. Simple enough.

Unfortunately, I am not always convinced by things in this way (a huge shortcoming of my faith by the way), so I also looked to some other arguments.

2. Gender is different than sex, I do not believe God has a sex, but I do believe his gender traits are male, not female, thus he is He.

I do not believe God is male by sex, but by gender. I believe sex is most likely designed for reproduction, and God has no need for sex because he creates simply by speaking. So I don't think god is male in that he has male genitalia. But, I do think he is male by gender. What do I mean? Well, I recently read Perelandra, by C.S. Lewis, in this book he explains gender as follows;

"Our ancestors did not make mountains masculine because they projected male characteristics onto them. The process is the reverse. Gender is a reality, a more fundamental reality, than sex. Sex is, in fact, merely the adaptation to organic life of a fundamental polarity which divides all created beings. Female sex is simply one of the things that have female gender; there are many others. Masculine and feminine meet us on planes of reality where male and female would simply be meaningless. Masculine is not attenuated male, nor feminine attenuated female. On the contrary, the male and female of organic creatures are rather faint and blurred reflections of masculine and feminine." <C.S. Lewis, Perelandra, (New York: MacMillan 1965),  200.>.

In this explanation, the male and female sex characteristics are an expression or "reflection" of male and female gender. Socrates explained similar phenomenon in his theory of forms, which I won't go into here. Gender is greater than sex, it’s the traits of male-ness or female-ness.

In my understanding, one of the most  female traits include nourishing. Two traits that are male include providing and protecting. WOAH woah wait a minute, gender role bias!! Yes, yes but I am not saying men or women need to act masculine or feminine, just that these are traits of the gender which surpass sex. Don't get the two confused.

Why are mountains male? They protect. Why is the earth female? It nourishes.


God provides (both creation and the mechanisms for creation to continue) and protects his creation. His creation (mother nature) nourishes that which he provides for.  Male protects, female nourishes. I will continue below.


3. Out of male, came female. The rib of Adam can be metaphorically seen as the X Chromosome

I started thinking about sex, the fun kind, how the male provides the sperm, which then connects to the egg and then life begins. A woman does not create life. The woman nourishes the life created in her womb until it is birthed into a newborn baby. It is the uniting of male and female, with the miracle of God's breath, that creates life. After birth, a woman continues to nourish the life by breast-feeding. This process, I believe, is one of the ultimate expressions of gender. The male provides the catalyst for life, the female nourishes it. In the same way, God created the world. He was the catalyst for life, the provider. Mother nature (the earth which God created) is what nourishes the life, by the will of God. Since god (male) created life and mother nature, male must have come before female, or out of male must have come female. Can this be argued? I think so.

It’s kind of like the chicken or the egg question. But, the Bible teaches that out of Adam, came Eve. God took one of Adam’s ribs, and with his breath created Eve. Then my brain got all biological on me, could science, indeed evolution even, support this? I think so.

Warning, this is purely theoretical and mostly metaphorical, and way way over simplified. But think about male and female sex, represented in genetics as two X chromosomes (XX female), or an X and a Y chromosome (XY male). Female gametes (egg) are always (in normal conditions) filled with one X chromosome, male gametes (sperm) can contain one X or one Y chromosome. The combination of the female X with either an  X sperm or Y sperm, determines the sex of the offspring (XX female, XY male). This is why males are 'credited' with 'determining' the sex of babies (obviously they don't choose the sex consciously though).  So which came first, male or female? 


I started thinking that maybe the X chromosome was the metaphorical equivilant of Adams rib. I think because male has X and Y, it had to come first. It’s as if an X from XY was permanently ‘donated’ to create female. You see, you can get X from male (XY), but you cannot get Y from female (XY), female XX has no Y. So, therefore, XY had to come first, because otherwise there is no other way to get Y. If XX came first, XY would not be possible, but XX is possible from XY. I know this is confusing, and a big stretch. But think about it. Where did Y come from if female existed first? ((NOTE::In no way am I suggesting that a male X and another male X would create a woman, this is preposterous. Obviously, much more than just an x and a y chromosome is needed to truly create life. Indeed, God need not only the rib, but also to provide the breath and design of woman. He took the rib (or maybe the X chromosome) from Adam (male) and 'breathed' life into it to create female.)))


Yes, God took the 'rib' of Adam (male), breathed life into it and created Eve (female). Maybe the rib is the X chromosome. Maybe god took the X chromosome from male, Adam, and breathed life into it to create female (XX) Eve.

In this way, I see some vague glimmer of some possible theory (albeit very overly-simplified in it’s current form) of a biological explanation of the gender of God. I think that it shows that it’s possible to get the female sex from male ‘parts’ (XY), but not male parts from ‘female parts’ (XX). If sex is a reflection of gender, then the mechanism of female sex being derived from the male sex migh represent a possibility for female gender to be an extension of male gender. If female is more likely to be derived from male, rather than male from female, if female came out of male, and if everything came from God, then I think it follows that God is more male, or rather male-ness is more like God in that it existed first.

However, this doesn’t mean that men are more God-like than women, that would be getting sex mixed up with gender. They are simply reflections of one another, and this is simply a fool’s theory. But maybe the rib is symbolic of the X chromosome. Man, created in God’s image, is therefore a reflection of God, just like sex is a reflection of gender. It could be possible that something like this exists or did exist. Indeed, think of how God provides and protects the Hebrews in the Old Testament. Think of how God is provider, Abba Father, and how his creation, an extension of himself – mother earth – nourishes the life that God provides for and protects.  Like a biological father, God gives life and protects His children, and Mother Nature nourishes the life – providing the conditions and nutrients to Gods children, much like a pregnant and nursing mother does for her own offspring. Indeed, a mother does not ‘create’ life, God creates life. A mother simply provides a safe environment (a womb) and nutrition for the life to grow.  A father provides the seed, which starts life growing. He then is responsible for protecting that life as it grows. Much like God. Mother earth would have no life to provide for, if Father God did not breathe life, and design the mechanisms for life to continue. They are all extensions of himself, designed by Him, for life. Much like Eve was created out of Adam, so was the world and universe created out of God. Think of Adam as the human representation of the epitome of male-ness, and eve of female-ness. Indeed, they are two separate creations, but from the same origin. Something like Yin-Yang, from Yin comes Yang, from Yang comes Yin. Two separate, but both one. Female from Male, different but both female and male are Adam, both are created by God. If the rib of Adam was used to create Eve, if the X chromosome was used to create female, everything female then must have ultimately have it's origin in Male, and Male it's origin in God; the same way Eve has her origin in Adam, and Adam in God. Mother nature and the entire universe, can be thought of as the 'Eve' of God. 


Food for thought.



"I like your Jesus. I don't like your Christians. Your christians are so unlike your Jesus."

-Gandhi

I couldn't have said it better myself. I love Jesus, I want to live like him, to follow after him. For the longest time I resented christianity and christians, because they are so un-like Christ. I wouldn't call myself a christian for years because of this discrepancy. But now, I've re-claimed my Christianity. I will no longer let others who claim to be Christian, define for me what a christian is, or what christians believe.
I don't believe the same thing a lot of christians today believe, especially here in the great US of A. But I have learned there are others out there who see things the way I see them. They give me hope.

So, what is a christian? To me, a christian is someone who tries to live like Jesus, follow in his example  and live the way he taught people to live.

How did Jesus live? In poverty, serving others and loving others, regardless of who they were or what they had done. He was homeless, giving, loving and non-judgmental.

I think consumerism is counter-christian.
I think it is wrong to go to war, Christ taught non-violence.
I think it's wrong to have more than you need, of anything, when others have none or not enough. Christianity teaches this.
I think it's wrong to be attached to material goods, whatever they are. Jesus taught this.
I think it is wrong to be wasteful. Christianity teaches this.
I think it is wrong to be judgmental, especially to tell others they are sinful. Christianity teaches to love, and not to judge or condemn.
I think the most important way to share your faith is not through preaching and condemnation, but by living by example. Christ taught this.
I believe there are evil forces out there, trying to get us to turn away from what God wants for us, pushing us to be self-serving, selfish and hoarders. These forces are both in and around us, and it is against these forces we are to fight, to be loving, selfless and giving  of all things, to all people. I believe most suffering comes from these forces, or us following these instead of God.
I believe all people are equal, even the 'bad' ones.
I believe in the power of forgiveness.
I don't believe Christ chooses you, you choose Him. There are no 'special' chosen ones, we are all children of God.

Yes, I believe these things. The bible, teaches these, Christ teaches these. The more I read the bible, the more I see how much I fail, and realize I can't blame 'the christians' because it's really, really really hard  to be a christian. I fail. I fail miserably.

I hoard. I judge. I hold grudges. I am attached. I am selfish and greedy. I don't forgive. I am wasteful. the list of failures goes on.

But I am working on improving. Every day is a struggle. To love others, to see them as equal, or even better than me, to give without expectation of receiving, to consume less, to live simply so others can simply live. To live by example rather than preaching. Not to boast. Not to consume things that have the price of human blood on them. To treat others fairly.

To be honest, I am now ashamed to call myself a christian because I so badly fail. But I keep the name because I believe in living like Christ. I must keep trying. Christ knows I will fail every day, but He forgives me. To me, this says that we should never give up trying, especially not because we fail. We must keep working on it.

In this world, I think the real followers of Christ, the real Christians, the ones who actually do what Christ told us to do, are on the streets. They are probably living in poverty. They are definitely helping those who need it most. They are fighting along side them, they are serving others. They are on the battlefront of injustice, telling people who feel forgotten that they are not, that they are loved. They are reliant on God for everything, from food to shelter to safety. They are warriors. They do not spend money lightly or needlessly. They do not own expensive things for they know their money can be, should be, spent on the needs of others not their own luxuries. They consume only what they need and rely on their community. They are peaceful. The take in and love everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, race, gender, ability and health. They love God above and before all else.

I one day hope to be that kind of Christian. Today I fail, but I am working on it.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas - Looking for the light

This year I was really weighed down with frustration surrounding how the media and our culture corrupt the sacred spirit of Christmas.  Friends, if you feel this way too, please read on. Hope found me this year. I want to share it with you.

The celebration of Jesus' birth is one of the most important holidays for us Christians. Unfortunately, it has also been tainted to reflect the epitome of our counter-christian, consumer culture - the ultimate defiance of what Christianity really stands for. The irony of this weighs heavy on my heart. It inevitably, always dampens my spirit around Christmas time. I struggle to fight and ignore the greed and gluttony that this season brings, and try with great effort to enjoy a peaceful christmas spirit, quality time with family and friends, and remembrance of the miracle of Jesus' birth and life.

But, as I sat listening to the pastor preach at the candlelight service on Christmas Eve, I was reminded not to look at the darkness - but to look at the light.

"As the first Christians came to see Jesus in the manger - the 3 wise-men, the shepherds, the angels - they did not come with heavy hearts to criticize the darkness that surrounded and consumed the world. They came to rejoice and behold the tiny but great light that had entered the world."

The light. A baby. A helpless newborn baby. A small, delicate seedling. A divine light sprouting. The smallest, most helpless form. Yet, this small light would grow, and bring unending light into the world. A light that would grow so strong that it would still shine bright over 2,000 years later. And is still growing.

Is there darkness in this world? Yes.
Is there terror and horror, greed and selfishness, injustice and sorrow? Yes, of course.
Is it overwhelming? Yes.

But, there is also light.

Sometimes, I am not sure which is more common in this world - the light or the darkness. Usually I feel that there is more darkness, because I focus on it. I see it, I criticize it, I despise it, and I try to fight it. But this only wears me down. It only distracts me from the good, and in doing so makes me spend less energy doing good, and fighting for good. Ultimately, subtracting from the energy going to the good in this world.

 There is also light. And light is more powerful than darkness. 

I realize that focusing on what I see wrong with the world, our culture, the people here does no good. It is painful though, to witness so many things deteriorating what could be a better world, destroying potential for goodness and love. I cannot forget that focusing on these things brings me closer not to light but to the darkness. Such thoughts take away from the light that does exist in me, and ultimately the world. It is all too easy to focus on the darkness and feel as if there is no hope- and that only leads me closer to falling, and being consumed by the greed, evil and hate in this world. One less hopeful, faithful soul to fight for good.

I chose instead to focus on the light, no matter how small. For everyone who turns from darkness and looks to light looks to God and glorifies His work. It is better to look for the light, shed light on the good, and to remind myself and others that there is still, some inch of hope, some ray of light. Then when darkness comes I can say that it is not all-powerful, for some good still exists- and if some exists it can grow. Just like that baby grew into a man - and into a divine God who to this day still pours His love out on me and so many others. If a light that small can grow as exponentially as it has, a light any size, can grow to be great. 

This is what Christmas taught me this year. I pray in the future that I rejoice and behold the light. Fight not against evil, but for good. Will you join me?

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

What a Christian really is

It's funny how you can 'think' you really know what something means for years, and then in one instant it can finally 'hit you' just what it really means. A realization.

I recently realized what it means that "Christ Saves". What it means to truly be a Christian.

I have always felt that it's not exactly about what Church you go to or what denomination you belong to. It's not exactly about whether or not you read the Bible or don't read the Bible. To some extent I have felt for a long time that it doesn't exactly have to do with whether or not you are a 'good' or 'bad' person either, because, the Bible and Christ say over and over that all it takes is belief in Christ, to truly be saved. We are all sinners- whether we are 'good' or 'bad' in this light then, is really irrelivant.

Going to Church and reading the Bible, calling yourself a Christian, doesn't make you a Christian. It's about something deeper, something more transformative.

Now I finally know that it's not, primarily, about any of these things.

I've heard so many times that it's about surrendering your will to Christ, and letting Him guide you. About submitting to Him.

And it is! I thought I got it, but now I think I get it in a whole new way!

A Christian, is led by Christ.

You see, when you truly accept Christ into your life as your savior, He is the one that saves you. You don't save yourself. Trying to be a good person, trying to please God of your own vilition - is all in vain. Christ does the work. When you truly, honestly and fully invite Him into your heart and life, He changes you from the inside out. You do none of the work. Trying to do it yourself just hinders Him further. When you honestly let Him lead you, He changes you into a loving, Christ-like person. You can't do it! Your job is to just let Him lead you. Your job is to LET GO and let Him lead.

A Christian, is led by Christ alone. 

I am not saying it isn't work to fight against everything inside of you that goes against what Christ is trying to do to change you. That's where it is work. Submission is work. The work isn't in trying to be Christ like, it's in letting go of your own desires. Letting go of self, so that Christ can truly lead you. It's letting go of the wheel, and letting Christ take it - without trying to still be a back-seat driver!

Once you do this, if you have truly let Christ drive you, you are automatically (but slowly) changed into a person that embodies Him. God changes your heart for you, if you allow Him to, and what follows is loving others unconditionally, being selfless, letting go of the desires of the world and being filled with Godly desires. A consequence of letting Christ into your life is that you become a good person, but being a good person doesn't mean that you have truly let Christ in your life. A consequence of letting Christ save you, is that His desires become your desires by default. Not by your own attempt to force them to be. You go to Church because Christ compells you to, not because you think you should. You read the Bible to learn more about how to surrender further to Christ, to know Him more intimately, because He compells you to, not out of obligation to the Church.

I am not saying that going to church and reading the bible out of obligation once in a while is a bad thing- indeed we are all going to find times when it seems like work.

What it comes down to is; is it you who is trying to lead your life and fill your desires with what you think God wants? Or are you letting Christ lead your life and letting Him fill your heart and desires with what He wants? Even if it goes against your own?

I have been very liberated by this thought. I realize I am no longer responsible for making the right or the wrong decision, instead I am responsible for letting Christ into my heart and letting Him lead. I know that if I truly do that, I won't be the one making the decisions. I will only be the one deciding to submit, so that the right decision is made.


Now, daily I remind myself to let go, to stop trying to control my life and my 'holiness' and to daily- surrender it to Christ. I will stop 'trying' to be a good Christian, and instead just be filled with you Christ, so that you can be through me Lord.


Lord, your will be done, not mine.

Amen.